R.I.P little creature

Something horrible happened. We have cat net on the balcony.
We live on the public transportation hot spot and pretty downtown.
And every now and then we have posters of missing cats hanging in our neighbourhood. Just couple of days ago a woman asked if I saw her cat and was holding a poster with a photo of a super cute little cat and a text: silly me fallen from the balcony, did you see me?
I explained who is silly and dumb in this sad story and said as long as she has no protection on the balcony I would not bring her her cat back even if I would know where she is.
And then, chatting over the phone yesterday I suddenly saw on the “observation deck” outside – each cat has its own – a giant squirrel.
From all neighbors  – me, the one trying obsessively whole my life to save every animal crossing my way.
My friends are amused how many dates I ruined coming tear-swollen and uppset and an hour later to my obviously not significant other…or just didn’t come because I was waiting with a cab driver in a vet’s office. Or I did come in a nice new dress with blood stains on it…

A squirrel. Lying there in a strange position. We have so many of them here and they are so tame that you have to literally push them away when walking through the park.
We had mild winter, so no they were not searching for a food and warm place to stay.
Anyway somehow?!?! she managed – despite our net – to jump on our balcony.
And then probably saw the cats, because of our glass wall. And wanted to as escape soon as possible.
With pushing her head through the tiny hole in the net?!?
I hang up in the middle of friend’s sentence, but because our fucking balcony door is broken – new one ordered and has to be custom made in the next days – I spend like couple of horror minutes trying to open the door.
When I finally made it, I cut with garden shears almost the whole net and was just couple of seconds late.
I was fucking late.
Standing there and crying and crying.
Poor little creature.
I was not able to take her still warm body, I was just not.
I thank God and a dear neighbor for doing this. He already helped couple of times in my strange animal rescue escapades…

I was thinking to rip of the bloody net, but then again, my cats would not be safe anymore. I will now install birds (I have a bird phobia) silhouettes on the cat net because a friend of mine told me they are afraid of cranes. Me too by the way.
Our balcony will look like a gipsy party nook, but who cares? If you know where I can buy this without spending almost 20 euro for an ugly bird and I need more then one, do tell.
Apparently this is a favorite garden deco and that makes it so expensive.

I check balcony every five minutes scared that I will see the same scene again. During she tried to survive, 3 other squirrels watched us from the tree just next to the balcony, my mom is convinced they realized what happend and will be carefull. Not sure about that.

Two panic attacks last night (I didn’t have any for years) I am still not sure how to stop being paranoid when looking every five minutes outside.
I was also not sure should I post this or not, but I think it is important to warn all cat net owners outside and maybe prevent something similar again and also to get an advice how to handle this situation.

Just a week ago heaving breakfast I saw a giant squirrel climbing on the same net, shot a quick photo for instagram and then waved with a mop to make her go away.
And now this?
My cats did realize what was going on and are now dramatically cuddly and would prefer to crawl into me.
Even a giant tom cat (my macho) crawled under the blanket and was pushed against my leg for most of the night. And a small bimbo was next to my ear the whole night, all warm and purring and for sure prevented a third panic attack of mine. We usually don’t sleep in the same room, but this night we needed each other.
If you do know any advice how to prevent this in a future please please share.

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