Modern

About fussy eater and other stuff

Picky eaters – born or made? I am for – made.
Because yes, parents have a HUGE impact through their own nutritrion style.

Yes, nobody is perfect. Yes, we all cheat from time to time with out daily tasks here and there. But when I read from a mom – random mom – I don’t know her, things like… i don’t cook. No, not like – I don’t cook today. Or this week.
But – I don’t cook at all.
I don’t clean the bathrooms.
I eat out at least once a day (or i wouldn’t eat at all).
The point is, nobody is cooking in that familiy. Or cleaning the bathroom for months.
And this should sound cool and laid back?

I read this in a comments section of one of my favourite blogs. No, not the croatian one – missillusion/TG – so don’t even start to make a story about this too. But about your misbehavior in the separate post. Because you just don’t give up gossiping about me. You just don’t. We will handle that in a separate post. So that you could feel how it is when we switch the sides.

Sorry my lousy english, it is not my first or even my second working/living language. It is the third one. And I won’t go so far to claim – as some do – that I can speak a foreign language almost like native speaker or even better. We all know what we think when we read things like this.

Back to the subject.
I do wonder. Eating out every single day? Where is the family feeling and gathering at table, something smelling yummy from the kitchen? Kids LOVE to help in the kitchen, dig their hands in the dough and knead, make some mess…
In my worst single phase I still did cook. For myself. Yes.
Just for me. Maybe not every day, but most of the days. And real meals, not just pasta or omelette. And then one mom says she never cooks and that’s why they eat out at least once a day.
Money and time aside, I can’t imagine to go out to eat EVERY SINGLE DAY, rain or snow, being sick or just being sick of the restaurant food.
I don’t even want to imagine having kids and not cleaning a bathroom. And leaving it  just dirty for weeks.
Or somebody telling she cleans her floors only every couple of weeks but fold clean laundry always on the floor, because there is no empty surface somewhere else.
Yes, the house is messy sometimes, yes sometimes you will order dinner, yes sometimes your hair will be a mess.
Yada, yada, yada.
But not eating at all at home? Not cleaning at all?
Or telling you never play with your kids, ever.
Because you thing it is boring.
O.k. it could be boring today and tomorrow too. But if it is boring to spend time with your kid in general, why did you have them?
It turns out that I play more with my pets every day then somebody with their kids in a whole week.
Often are that the same persons claming their kids fuss about food, are picky or won’t eat at all.
Really?
Where they should have learned to eat at all? To value good food and home made meal prepared with love?
Is sounds so wrong to me. Knowing a mom who is 24/7 on some diet – she is not fat – and living from smallest amount of fruit and coffee for days and being utterly worried at the same time that her preschool daughter won’t eat at all. So their family live is all abouth if M. has eaten something that day. Drama drama.
Making a show from a normal everyday thing, because this kid never learned what normal is.
From whom could she have learned that???
From mom eating tiny amounts of fruit and drinking gallons of coffee each days? Or from a father eating most of his time business lunches somewhere and eating nothing in the evening. Or eating chinese take out?
I didn’t realize how bad it actually is, until they visited me for two days. At the end of the second day I was all sweat and drama too!
Nobody is leaving hungry my home. I love to feed people and spend good time with them at the table. I have friends who love to eat my food and always get the leftovers packed to it take home. But this time they were all so tense and were trying so hard to motivate this kid to eat, that at the end we all lost our appetite.

Monkey see, monkey do. And that “monkey” almost never sees anything cooking or having a relaxed meal together at the end of the day.

The parents were stressing out big time, but at the same time giving really bad example to that kid how food variety and good diet actually looks like.
Then she got a pudding half an hour before lunch. No, she didn’t eat anything for lunch. I offered plain yoghurt later that afternoon, but no this is not something what M. eats. Period. Everything else what I offered and usually have in my fridge for kids of my friends. M. is not eating.
I would say – keep offering the food over time. I experienced that somebody who didn’t like cheese with two or with three, suddenly liked it with four!
And take care that your child does not pick up on your “pickiness”! Or from your husband. And don’t make a food – an issue.

Also don’t panic about the amount of the food your kid eats. Kids are intelligent and they are not going to let themself starve. They are not.

My ex was from such a familiy. They didn’t even own a dining table, despite the four-rooms-apartment. As we met he had several serious digestive problems. Then we moved in together and started cooking, from scratch. All of his stomach problems disappeared over the time. O.k. he got another one, but not the digestive one. 

Even a child who was not born a good eater could grow into a good one. This doesn’t mean everybody hat to eat everything. I don’t eat everything. You too not. But out there there is enough different ingredients that everybody can eat healthy and balanced diet.

My friend, vegetarian for last 25 years, started to prepare meat for her child and even eat that. She says if somebody would have told her that earlier she would call him mad. But she wants that this kid from the beginning
learns a healthy way of dealing with nutrition. And she is single mom. Struggling with demanding job, all household tasks and a baby. And she does cook. Yes, she is my hero.

And then this gross idea of not cleaning my bathroom for weeks or months?!?
Or kitchen for weeks? O.k. if she is not using it, but again…
The majority of us in the blogosphere has not their entire world pulled together. But we do cook and clean.

I do strive all the time to have less stuff in my home and that the remaining things are nice and well designed and of a good quality. But on some crazy weeks where I am half ill, have deadline after deadline, a tiger needs to see a vet, we need urgent repair of something and and and….well it can get ugly.
It is exception, but it can.
I like things picked up and organized but there is always “the pile” where I dump things when I’m in a hurry. The pile can grow and grow. Is is usually the bench in the hallway, where I drop everything when I come in and later forget about that.
My floors are a constant battle against the cat hair. Yes, if you have pets you have to clean daily or you do live in a dirty home.
Da se ne lazemo.
I love my pets, but I hate having their hair on my clothes. It looks sloppy and unprofessional at work.
And it is not fair to represent your employer with a sloppy style. In my private time it can be my personality and uniqueness paired with cat hair, but in the office I have to look decent and all grown up. I am not paid for promoting stay-at-home-mom style.

Some things are just gross, regardless what we would rather do instead of cleaning or cooking.
Like having a dog and and crawling toddler and moping the floors every ten days? Really?!?
I am not “doing it all” but – really,  it all comes down to choices we make. Choices like:
cooked meal versus another two hours online
cleaned floors versus another episode on TV
smaller house versus bigger and dirty
smaller car or car-less but with enough money for healthy meals
not having pets versus having them and knowing you will need an extra hour or more per day

Or saying I only clean when I expect company. Hm… I have some sort of a company every week, maybe for a dinner or just for a coffee or just to drop something by, so even if it would be only for that I would still clean regularly. Right now I am waiting for friend with food, since I am learning around the clock.
Not to say that I love more spending my time in a tidy and clean home! Who doesn’t?

Or to say. Yes there is mess but!!! We love each other and everything is a blessing yada yada yada.
Wel, people picking up after themselves or cooking don’t love each other or what? Do you need a mess do to this?
Or mantra – all is grace!
Well no dear, sometimes it is just lousy nutritrion, dirty home and excuses.

I am not talking about sparkling home. There is something between sparkling home and not cleaning a bathroom for couple of weeks. It is called normal life.

Category: random rumbling